So What Is SWTMW Anyway?

Some people who click onto this blog might be confused about what exactly Sleeping With The Material World is. Especially if you don’t know us and you’re simply clicking over from the Facebook or Twitter page, you may not be familiar with the story of the book or what we’re trying to do with it. I mean, it’s pretty clear from the introduction up top that it is a book, but since there’s no widget on the website offering you a copy for sale or linking to it on Amazon, some might find themselves asking how they could obtain said book. And it’s an understandable question.

To be clear: Sleeping With the Material World is an unpublished book. Technically speaking, the final draft is not even completed yet. This page exists to raise awareness about our book project in anticipation of selling it to a publisher. Because as Sarah found out the hard way when she submitted her first draft to several publishers, turning your raw manuscript into a published masterpiece that can be found on Indigo’s shelves is actually pretty damn hard.

I know in the past while exploring the internet I’ve come across certain author webpages that refer to a book that doesn’t appear to actually exist, and it’s frustrating. You feel like if the book was published and all you had to do was click on a link, you would be more than willing to support the artist. But how are you supposed to go about supporting an unpublished author?

Sarah has been working on this book for multiple years and in its first iteration it was mostly just a jumble of stories. Since I came in, I’ve radically restructured the narrative. We now see SWTMW as a creative non-fiction "bildingroman," which is a fancy word for a coming-of-age story. It’s a story about growing up, and while the characters may be zany and all over the place, it’s really about a girl who travelled the world to find herself. SWTMW is laid out into 15 chapters, with each chapter taking place in a different city than the previous one. Many locations pop up multiple times, but some don’t – this is just a tour of Sarah’s world in her years in the modelling industry.

As such, on some level it’s a combination of a travel book and a modelling book, which is a little bit unique. There are a few first-person modelling narratives out there – notably Model: A Memoir by Cheryl Diamond, which I read and quite enjoyed, although I didn’t find that it had much of a narrative resolution – but few have really explored the experience of being a model, being flown in and out of different countries and immersing yourself in a new culture for a few months before being plopped down somewhere else. Our whole book is an adventure, as new opportunities pop up and disappear before Sarah’s eyes.

Sarah brought me in because I went to school for creative writing and I have a much better understanding of the process of writing an engaging, readable book with a story arc, but that doesn’t mean I have an in to the industry itself. The key right now is finding a baseline for our pitch that will make what we think can be an excellent book into something that is worth investing in for a significant publisher. So in a way, our goal right now is to brand the book as something that is worth reading. Part of that is demonstrating what’s enticing about this particular story, part of it is showing that we have the ability to write for a large audience, and part of it is finding that audience ahead of time.

Because of the way the industry is today, with the rise of the internet and Kindle and the focus on bestsellers and literary fiction, it’s very important for us to find our audience before we even sell the book itself. When I came into this process over a year ago, as I mentioned, I had the know-how, but I didn’t have much in the way of actual credentials aside from a few isolated articles. Since then, I’ve had my first short fiction piece accepted for publication in a literary journal (scheduled for March of next year) and landed regular gigs writing for TheRichest.com and RaptorsRapture.com. That’s a start, but it’s certainly not going to wow any publishers. Neither of us are going to get in the door because of our resumes alone, so in order to get this book finished and produced, we need to find out who is going to read it. This blog is a part of that process.

In addition, we’d love to explore any other networking opportunities that the internet has to offer – be it guest posts, podcasts, or the like. Most of all, we would love for you to subscribe to this blog (there's a big box on the right-hand side!), and then give our Twitter and our Facebook a follow. And then, maybe even more importantly, share it with all of your closest friends! This might seem like shameless advertising, and to be honest, it totally is.

But we hope you want to see this book get made as much as we do.

-Simon

Beijing Memories

I love this photo.

This was taken less than a week after I ran out on my last international agency in China. In this shot we’re on the elevator on the way to the club to go party with the 2008 Olympians. I was chilling with the Jackass boys and two BMX riders after we had all finished up the Gumball 3000. The “Masters of Dirt” hat I’m wearing is the logo for one of the BMX companies.

It had all started the previous Saturday night, when my friend Min in Shanghai invited a bunch of the girls up to a huge party in a fancy hotel. Min told me it was a party for the Gumball but I had no idea what that even meant. He assured me that the party would be packed with celebrities and that they needed some hotties there. So I asked my 5 roommates (all beautiful models) if they wanted to come. Of course they came – I always knew where the fab parties were. When we got there, there was free booze and free food everywhere. The girls and I stayed all night, then went back to the penthouse and partied till the next morning. One of the hot guys I had met asked me if I wanted to stay with them and travel to Beijing. I told him yes. Then I called the agency and told them I was cutting my contract. I was sick of my agency and the scene in China and just needed a change, but more than anything I was just down to have a good time. Thinking back now, it just reminds me how wild and fun I used to be. It’s not that I can’t have fun now, but I’m more grown up. In my teens and twenties I did whatever I wanted, and got paid. Life was easygoing and carefree.

So I joined the Gumball. The Gumball is enormous car rally that takes place somewhere in the world every year. Thousands of cars and drivers drive thousands of miles just to have a good time and enjoy their toys. It attracts the wealthy, the famous, and anyone who is crazy about cars. The cars in the main rally itself are absolutely gorgeous. In 2008, the Gumball was lined up with the Olympics, winding up in Beijing just in time for the Games. I had really only hitched onto the last leg of the trip.

Fast-forward to this picture. The hottie who had convinced me to run out had already left Beijing, since he was a writer for GQ and had other things to do now that the Gumball had reached its destination. One of the Jackass cameraman, a guy named Teatree, invited me and Miles, the main BMX rider I was hooked up with, to come into town to eat something with him and some British girl. It was probably one of my favourite nights in Asia. We went on an Asian Gondola and rode around a river. We went and smoked sheesha at some side street make shift “restaurant”. Then we ended up in this club somewhere where all the Olympians were hanging out. It was probably best that I had no idea who anyone was because then I wasn’t going crazy about meeting any of them. I had no idea who they were. We partied all night.

Later, Miles, the British girl, Teatree and I were all drinking and Miles put his head down and went to sleep. The British girl was basically gone, her eyes looking all different ways, and me and Teatree were left to chat. He was living in LA but was from New York. He was Jewish and Russian, loved his family, and came across as so funny and sexy but not in your typical way. We stayed there chatting and drinking for a few hours with our dates ‘under the table.’ Teatree was a skateboarder who started his career off as a cameraman for skateboard videos. He moved on to shooting for ‘Jackass.’ He was charming but so not my usual type and a little older then me. We hit it off, and after this meeting we dated on and off, though it never went anywhere. Twice I told him how I felt and twice he turned me down. He only truly wanted me around when he was lonely. From time to time he would fly me out to wherever he was and we would end up stuck to each other’s hip, as they say. Then I would go home, and we would go back to being just friends again.

This photo was the beginning of the end of the fun times. My agency was super pissed at me, and had contacted my mother agency to tell them that I’d disappeared and was on drugs (neither of which were true, though I had left with zero notice). My mother agency was calling my mom to make sure I was okay, and now every other day I was on the phone with my mother reassuring her I was fine and just with friends. By that time the modelling agency in Shanghai had taken all my belongings and brought them to the office under lock and key, including my passport and lap top. They threatened that they would keep everything and not let me leave China. But I was too busy having the time of my life with these millionaires to care.

A few days later, the parties dried up and people started to leave Beijing and I had to go back and clean up the mess I’d created. The train home from Beijing to Shanghai was one of the worst experiences of my life. There were four small beds in each cubby. This train was infested with mold and I’m deathly allergic to it. The train ride is only about five hours long but I thought I was going to die. My throat started to close up, my eyes were foggy and my ears were completely plugged. So much phlegm was coming out of my nose and mouth. I would choke on it at times and have to cough it up and spit it out in a tissue. When I got to the point where I thought I couldn’t take any more my stop was next. I ran off the train and my symptoms instantly disappeared. I was so relieved.

Now: the agency. I knew it was going to be bad. The agency had my laptop, my suitcase of clothing, and my passport all locked up in a massive vault. I still have no idea why they had a bank-sized vault in the agency. They refused to give me any of it back until I reimbursed them for the flight monies they said I owed them for flying me out to China in the first place. I told them I did not want to stay there anymore. I wanted out. But I didn’t have the money.

I sat in the waiting area for while. Finally the owner of the agency arrived and told me to come into their boardroom. He yelled at me for about an hour. He told me I was twenty-three years old and I was acting like a child. He had never had any model do such a thing. Then he told me that I was worth nothing because I was female. I was crying but told him that I was going home this week. He said no, I wasn’t going anywhere until we figured out about what I owed him.

That day I ended up leaving without any of my belongings, only getting them back much later with help from my mother agency and an assurance that I would never work in China again. Even though this was basically the end of my modelling career, I don't regret my decisions at all. It was such an amazing experience and I still talk to some of the people I met on my Gumball trip.

-Sarah

When A "Dating Diary" Isn't Really About Dating

A couple of weeks ago we posted a video categorized as a “Dating Diary” in which Sarah discussed an experience she had where a man posed as a producer offering her a part as a way of trying to get into her pants. Since that time, Sarah has realized that this was not a dating story at all, but something much darker. In light of all the sexual assault allegations coming to light recently against Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey and innumerable others in Hollywood and elsewhere, it’s important to recognise the line where things stop being professional and become abusive, and enforce that line. This is one of Sarah's (far too many) stories. In this case, she did go to the police - too late to actually press charges, maybe, but early enough that the next time this happens it will be a black mark on his record as he will be seen as a repeat offender.

#metoo

6 Major Mistakes I Made As A Model

Back in our very first post we outlined some tips for surviving in the modelling industry. In this post I’ll discuss some of the mistakes I made as a young model that could have been avoided if I’d followed some of those tips:

1) I never kept track of my jobs and agency expenses.

After my contract was done in South Korea I came home with way less money than I should have. The agency ended up charging me for a bunch of extras, including the rent on my apartment after they had told the group of us to move into a bigger and more expensive place. When I went there, they had a set amount (flat rate) that they paid out for the type of jobs that they were offering and they pocketed the rest. At the time I didn’t want to be a pain but in retrospect I should have asked to see the receipts and demanded fair payment. If I’d been smart, I would have insisted on altering the contract to state that I would be paid the full amount that the client paid the agency, minus the 20% agency fee and minor expenses. Instead, I let the people who had the most to gain from ripping me off control my finances.

In general, I should have tracked all my jobs so when payment came up I knew exactly what I was owed. I should have budgeted expenses before even stepping foot in the city I was working in, just to know how much I needed to leave available for emergencies. I trusted my mother agency to have my back and while they were my rock, on the road it’s important to be your own accountant and always watch every dollar that comes in and goes out. Models are in a difficult spot - forced to put so much trust in other people in such an untrustworthy industry.

2) I partied too much, and didn’t focus enough on the jobs, castings or career in general.

Sometimes while I was getting my makeup done for a job and I had to shut my eyelids while they put on eye shadow, I would literally fall asleep in the chair. The makeup artists were very nice about it and never made it seem like a problem - they were probably used to it - but I shouldn’t have been doing that. I should have enjoyed being there and not rushed everything. I should have had more respect and appreciation for the job and the career.

Dating Diary Vlog: The Man Who Wasn't Camera Shy

Hey followers, since we didn't post a fresh article on Monday, here's a bizarre dating story about an experience Sarah had with a "producer" who offered her a role in a movie...

How International Modelling Changed Me As A Person

Like any major life experience, going into international modelling changes you as a person. Some of these changes are for the better, while others are more negative. I’ve grown up a lot in the five years since I got out of the industry, but many of these changes influence the kind of person I am today.

PROS:

It made me comfortable with my body, both naked and clothed: This is a big one. Growing up I was always uncomfortable with my body, especially my super-skinny long legs. In middle school the kids called me "daddy long-legs" and I hated it. I was also very flat-chested until about the age of 16. When I got into the industry, I learned to transform my unique body into a feature rather than a bug, and my self-consciousness disappeared.

I learned how to tap into my feminine side: I was a tomboy growing up and I hated wearing dresses. Once I got into the business I learned how to wear nice makeup and present myself in a more classically feminine way, with a hint of my own flair. Once after a shoot a client gave me a shiny gold dress and I thought, "my God, I would never wear this!" But I did wear it out one day and I got so many compliments on it that I started to like it. Being a girly-girl suddenly didn't seem so bad.

I became more fashionable: While travelling I was exposed to a ton of different cultures and fashions. I followed everything from what was in style at a certain time to what was kind of weird or funky to the trends that were so horrible that they kind of worked. It really changed the way I dressed.

I made friends all over the world: I met some amazing people that I still talk to today. I feel blessed to know that if I ever want to travel to a major foreign city in the future, I will more than likely know at least one person there. One thing that's wonderful about the industry is that eventually you learn how small it actually is.

I became comfortable travelling alone: The first time I went overseas by myself I was terrified that I wouldn't know anyone or make any friends. But I've done it so much now that the idea of going out and meeting a bunch of new people is kind of appealing. Plus I've learn how to just be alone sometimes.

I became open to trying anything once: I've tried lots of food I wasn't so sure about at the time. I've also seen sights that I never thought I'd see - for example, I met a racecar driver once and he let me go down to track level and sit in his car. Travelling the world made me open to just going with the flow and trying something new.

I learned how to use my street smarts to negotiate out of sticky situations: Growing up in North America around a pretty rough-and-tumble crowd, I learned how to speak my mind if something didn't seem right to me. Once I started modelling, early on I learned how to talk back if something didn't seem fair or I really didn't want to do something. The clients, especially in Asia, were usually taken aback by a woman speaking her mind and often didn't know how to react.

CONS

It became very hard for me to trust people, especially men: I started thinking everyone always wanted something from me, and that people were only hanging around because I was a model and not because of who I was as a person. I started repping my character a little too much because I wanted people to see that I wasn’t just another pretty face and that I had something to offer. I didn’t think any of the men in my life cared about me, and I never stayed with anyone for longer than four months (and four months was if I REALLY liked a guy). I kept myself distant so that I wouldn’t get hurt, and of course I got hurt anyways.

It made me ONLY comfortable if I was wearing the right outfit: As a model, I became overly aware of what fashion choices were being made around me. Nowadays, I have to be overdressed or at the very least appropriately dressed for every event I go to. If I feel underdressed it will affect my ability to have a good time and might actually make me leave early.

I became addicted to change: My childhood was very turbulent and the industry is ever-changing, so I never learned to slow things down. For me every season was a new world – new place, new experience, new guy (or guys). I would get cabin fever if I stayed home longer than one month at a time – Canada was just a pit stop until I could get the fuck out of Canada again. I couldn’t hang onto anything for a long period of time, and it’s something I still struggle with to this day.

I stopped being able to be told what to do: I was told how to look by somebody else for sixteen years. Once it stopped being my job to shut up and listen, I became resistant to anyone telling me how to do anything. Whenever anyone tries it on me now, I think to myself, “do I really have to listen to this person?” I have tried to work on being more open-minded in past couple of years, but I still have my rebellious side.

I became very lonely: I would be in a club filled with hundreds or thousands of people and just feel like a single grain of sand on a massive beach. I started feeling like nobody could relate to me as a model – they all had their own friends and crowds to go back to. And back home, everyone was growing up in their own way, and had no idea what my life was like overseas. And since my friend group was constantly changing, there was never any time to get close with anyone.

-Sarah

10 Tips On Surviving As An International Model

Keep track of your money. You need to be your own accountant if you don't want to hire one. The industry is rife with sharks and if you don't know what you're getting paid or who you owe money to, the money you think you're making can disappear in an instant.

Always make sure you have a mother agency you can trust. Some of the international agencies will try to take advantage of you as a young person and it's important to check with your mother agency if you suspect that something is off.

Don't get sucked into unhealthy diets or routines. The first thing a lot of people think about when they hear the word "model" is "anorexia." Don't fall down that wormhole. Eating healthy is important, but not eating is very bad for you. If you overdo it, your body will react in ways you don't expect - you might stop having your period, for example. Watch your weight, but do what's right for you.

Don't drink and do drugs alone in foreign countries. Doing drugs in general is a bad idea but the dangers are magnified if you don't know where you are or where to go if things go wrong. Other models may be rivals, but they're also your safety net against what may be out there lurking in cities you're unfamiliar with.

Sleep well at least sometimes. All but the most committed models are going to pull the odd all-nighter, but too many drugs and too many parties will burn you out eventually. Remember that as important as socialising is in the industry, taking care of yourself should come first.

Always shower before going out to a job. It's easy to get caught up in the 24-hour club life and rush from jobs to parties to more jobs without a moment to sleep or shower, but it will eventually catch up to you. No one wants to work on a model who smells like the alleyway behind the bar. It's rude - but worse, it's unprofessional.

Learn how to exercise at home. Pull-ups, push-ups, jogs around the block - you don't need a gym membership to stay in shape. 

Don't take things personally. It's a business, and people aren't getting paid to tell you what you want to hear. Just because you don't get along with the handlers on one shoot, or because you don't have the right look for something, doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you.

Only do things you're comfortable with. For my very first test shoot at age 14 I was asked to do a no-bra look. When I balked, the photographer assured me that if I wasn't sure about it, we could do the shoot with the bra on. In the end I chose to do what was right for the shot, but only once I was comfortable with it. This industry is all about subjecting your body to what other people want, but if it they are ever asking you to do things beyond your comfort level, you should always maintain your right to walk away. If you sign up for underwear and arrive to a photographer asking for nudes, that's not cool. There may be consequences (an unhappy agency, a complaint from the client) but remember that your well-being comes before the job.

Be true to yourself. If you're naturally a size 7 and you're trying to fit into a size 0, you're not being yourself. You can transform yourselves for as many looks as you want, but always stay true to the human being you were when you came into the industry.

Just a few tips from my years in the industry!

-Sarah