A Mother's Day Message About Being A Mom

Getting Comfortable In My New Mom Bod

The 6 weeks is over.

For those of you who don’t know, immediately after you have a baby you should have nothing go into your vagina for a while. It’s a time of rest and recovery. At the six week point, your OB does an exam to make sure everything is healing properly and internal organs are returning to their natural size, and you’re good to go.

So I can finally get back to my normal life. What I’m most excited about and I find most important is that now I can have sex again and exercise. I have to say I missed both very much and am happy to get back into it. (I think my partner could say the same!)

Of course, even though some things are returning to normal, I know it’s going to take some time to get my beach bod back and I have to be okay with how my body is now. I’ve tried on my old clothes and they don’t fit. My belly is almost as big as my butt, my legs are fattier than before and my chin is the smallest it’s ever been. Everything jiggles when I walk or run!

This is very different from my modelling days. The nice thing about not doing that anymore is that I don’t have pressure to get back to my old bod super quickly. But I have always maintained my body, always made sure that it was beach ready, and I want to get back to that level. And I will. While I’m working myself up, it’s important that I catch myself when I go to say something scathing to myself and maintain the faith that I will get back to a banging bod!

(I want to say that as long as you’re healthy and you exercise and you eat fairly well than whatever your natural weight is, it’s beautiful. I’m not trying to judge other people’s sizes here. But I’ve been super skinny for my whole life, so this extra weight is a bit of an adjustment.)

When I look in the mirror I try to focus on the things I do like. I’m really enjoying my huge boobs, and I keep telling myself that when I get my stomach back my body will be banging. I also love that my ass got bigger - though it definitely needs to be shaped and toned. I’m very excited about what I will look like after some time spent working out and not eating as much. Also I’ll be breast-feeding and that apparently helps to cut calories.

So I’m going to start going back to my Jeet Kune Do (martial arts) class and going to the gym whenever my baby and man will let me - of course, I can’t do anything anymore without their okay. I just need to keep telling myself I’ll get there. And I don’t know if this is the right way to do it, but I’m not going to set a goal or a date on when my body should be back to what it was. (In all honesty, I don’t think my hips will ever go back to what they were - which I’m happy about because I love my bigger butt). I know the big boobs won’t last forever, but the butt will, and I’m looking forward to working on it.

I’m sure I should enjoy this time in my life where my body is at its worst. And in a real way I can say it’s truly at its best because I did just gave birth, and that’s amazing.

And in the meantime, I’m going to be proud of my Mom Bod - big, small, or just right!

-Sarah

Living The Single Life vs Settling Down With A Family

What To Expect When Expecting

The Mean Things People Say When You’re Nine Months Pregnant

Well, after nine months, it finally happened – I’m a Mom! Our new little boy Teo was born on March 15th and he’s healthy and happy.

The week before I gave birth I think I hit a breaking point. I felt huge. I only gained 45-50 pounds in total during my pregnancy but I have never been that big in my life so it was a huge adjustment. I was already feeling self-conscious about my size. (I would expect that all pregnant women feel that way – not only are you bigger around the waist, but everything else can swell up too, your hormones are out of whack, and just in general you don’t feel like your usual beautiful self.) And when people starting making fun of me for it, I just couldn't handle it.

For the most part I was pretty lucky as far as not being subjected to too much in the way of insults, but as I got bigger I did start to hear things slip out from people I know and love. In the last couple of months I found out that my baby was below average in size and that I would probably need to be induced to let him out early. When my doctor first told me that the baby was undersized, I asked if I needed to eat more or gain some weight, but he said of course not – he said I was healthy and the baby’s vitals were good, and that babies just sometimes come out small. But when I told my friends and family about this, they kept pestering me to eat more. And it really got to me – I felt like I needed to constantly defend myself and my eating habits, which was the last thing I wanted to be doing.

But there were other things people said to me that really bothered me too. Most of these were said in jest, or casually, with the implication that I “could take it” – but it doesn’t mean I liked it. They included things like:

You’re a monster now who just eats all the time. 

The person said that this was a joke and that they only said it because they knew I could take it. I was fine with it at the time, but this was only the first in a cavalcade of insulting jokes and snide comments.

Wow, I’ve never seen you so fat before, this is great! Let me get a picture.

This person took a picture which ended up on Instagram. It bothered me, but again, I tried to brush it off. After all, I was only a few days away from giving birth.

How does it feel to be a whale?

This hurt, but I realized that this person was only re-purposing words that had come out of my own mouth. The way this made me feel was a harsh reminder that if you’re having body issues, you shouldn’t use hurtful words to describe yourself because then that will make other people think that it’s appropriate to throw those words back in your face.

I don’t want another child with you because you didn’t exercise while you were pregnant.

I’m sure you can guess who said this last – and in his defense, he was grumpy and tired when he said it. My partner has been an amazing support system throughout my pregnancy, during labour and after the birth of young Teo. I couldn’t do any of it without him. But anyone who’s been in a serious relationship will understand that sometimes bad things get said in stressful situations, and when this got said it actually made me cry. It just felt like at that point in my pregnancy everything that was being said around me was really mean or hurtful. The thing was, I was going to AquaFit throughout my pregnancy – which is at least some form of exercise. So it also wasn't entirely fair.

In general, I can take a joke better than most. The things said to me in my state were peanuts compared to the things that some pregnant women have to put up with. But in general as a society I think we need to be more mindful of pregnant women everywhere. Every woman is different, but it just makes sense to be nice and respectful to a woman who is going through the process of making a whole new person inside of her. Anyway, I’ve now given birth and it was the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced – the hardest thing I have ever done or ever will do. (Maybe that’s a topic for our next blog post?)

SHOW SOME RESPECT!

-Sarah

Pregnancy Update Vlog: Ready To Pop

Life Changes

2016 was probably one of the worst years I ever had. I moved in with a boyfriend and it turned out to be one of the worst decisions I ever made. Before moving in with him, I was in a nice condo downtown with a job where I made decent money and lived with my dog that I loved. I loved living downtown as a single female because it allowed me to be social and I felt extremely healthy. My ex lived very far out of the city and I had to quit my job to move in with him. Once I got there, he stopped talking to me for two days and told me I couldn’t drive his car like he had promised I could. He had asked me to move in, but once I did he transformed into a completely different person. He became very controlling and a complete douchebag. The stress of the relationship brought back my smoking habit, which I had kicked 6 years before, and I almost completely stopped sleeping. I was only there for about two months before I moved out one day while he was out at work - I just couldn’t handle him at all. 

I moved back in with my mother. I knew I had to make some changes. My whole life was upside down. I ended up joining a martial arts class. I had recently started therapy and I knew that I needed some physical exercise - a nice place to release things and learn something new.

It was at that class that I met my current boyfriend. At the time he was secretly going through a separation with his wife. When I met him I figured he was married and therefore did not make any effort in pursuing him (not that I make that much effort at pursuing anyone). But I was so attracted to him. If I’d known, I probably would have chased after him from the jump. He was pretty closed off in class, but any time that I got to spar with him I was happy to do so and slowly I began to learn a tiny bit about him. As time went on, I began to have feelings, but his separation was still a secret and no one in the class knew that he wasn’t happy in his old relationship. So for a while I kept my mouth shut.

Fast-forward to now. Things have changed! I have a (semi-)new relationship with a wonderful person whom I love very much. He truly is what I’ve been looking for all these years - with some added, let’s say, quirks (that are for the most part tolerable). I know he thinks the same about me. Our relationship has been pretty much a whirlwind since it started. As soon as we both realized that we liked each other we basically started dating immediately. We quickly found out that we have a lot in common and we have a lot of fun together. I feel like he teaches me something every day.

We had only been dating for a few months when - surprise! - I got pregnant. I have never been pregnant nor have I ever even had a scare with pregnancy. And I have not always used birth control. In all honesty, I thought I might not be able to have children. But I guess when things are meant to be, they’re meant to be.

When we first found out we were pregnant, we both freaked out. We were both in severe shock. He was still going through a divorce and I was still trying to get my life back together. But I didn’t for one second think I didn’t want the baby. I did, however, have the thought: how the fuck are we going to do this? I told my boyfriend if he wasn’t ready to have a child or spend his life with me then that was okay and I would do this alone because I understood it was my choice to keep the child. Although he was unsure at the beginning the more we both thought about it the more exciting it became. Within the first year of our relationship we had to discuss massive future plans, like how many children we wanted. The least fun of all the talks was finances. We had to talk about if we were going to live together, where we would raise a child, did we want to get married, and all the fun things that come along with a long-term relationship. The only difference was we had only been together for a few months. I had only met his parents once! It almost seemed similar to a arranged marriage (but who am kidding? I have no idea what that would be like). In the end, we decided to be together for what we hope is life, and raise this little bundle of joy as a family.

Am I scared? Yes! These are all huge life changes and they’re kind of coming on a whim. As for being a Mom, I have to say I’m excited and a little nervous but I feel like I’ll be good at it. Don’t get me wrong - my mother did the best she could and so did my father. But I learned a lot about what not to do from them. I am generally a pretty down-to-earth, fun, responsible person - at least right now (keyword: now. We’ll see if that changes once the baby arrives.) I’m also, like my boyfriend, a jack-of-all-trades. We both know a lot about many different things and are talented in many different ways. So I hope that we can raise a child well.

I do have to say I’m afraid of giving birth, though. That scares me the most - the pregnancy not so much, the being a mother not so much. But the splitting open and everything coming out including the baby is scary. I just hope it goes by fast and it’s quick. I also hope my boyfriend is there for it because he travels for work and I would like him to witness it.

As for my career or going back to school, I’m not too sure. I know I want this book to be published and that’s all I’ll be working on for myself for this next year pretty intensely. School I would still love to do but I have to see if that’s an option in a couple years, or if I even want to go that route again.

I’m holding on with faith and love, and I can only hope it all works out. I know this will be the thing I work hardest on and not ever give up on.

New Year's Resolutions - Sarah

Happy New Year, readers! (And Merry Christmas as well since we didn’t put a post up last week. We were too busy eating turkey and opening presents!) For today, Sarah and I thought we wouldn’t focus so much on the book, but rather would devote a double-post to discussing our hopes, goals and dreams for 2018. This post discusses Sarah's New Year's Resolutions. Here's Simon's.

***

I believe to be whole you need to be spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically strong. I really slacked in many of these areas in 2017 - in other words, I know what not to do for this coming year. These are my goals for each quadrant of my life in 2018:

1. Spiritually – I want to be able to meditate for at least half an hour everyday. I have been slacking big time. I used to meditate at least a half an hour a day, but I’ve almost completely stopped. I think I was going through some stuff and just forgot about meditating and somewhat turned my back on it during some tough times. But I have to remember that it’s during these tough times that meditation is important. Following through on this resolution will centre me as a person and generally make me a happier person - I know this from experience.
2. Emotionally – I need to embrace my emotions and remember that it’s okay if I want to cry sometimes. It’s needed. And I should be okay with that. This one I know I will naturally do right now since I’m super hormonal - but accepting it rather than fighting it is the key. I should also express if I don’t like how someone is treating me and voice my opinions more often. Sometimes I can be passive to avoid a fight, but sometimes you need to stand up for yourself. (And it feels good to be expressive, of course!)
3. Mentally – I have to make sure to write a half an hour to an hour a day as well as try and read a bit everyday. It will keep my mind sharp and active. In all honesty, my mental state is probably the only thing I have been working on in 2017. I have been going to therapy for about year now and it’s helping so much. It’s nice to talk to someone about how I’m truly feeling and gain perspective on my past as well as why I do things and why things happen. But I think taking care of my mental state also means staying mentally stimulated, which is why I want to do more reading and writing.
4. Physically – I want to step up my workout game. I haven't been working out since I got pregnant. Before it happened, I was working out every week and going to my Jeet Kune Do class 1-2 times a week. Now I’m not with a gym and I have been barely going to class. I have been doing some Aqua Fit classes with other pregnant women but that’s not really too much. I find it hard to work out now since I always feel tired. I plan to go hard for the first few months after giving birth to get back to what I was.

I hope this coming year is better than the last one. I feel like it will be. So much is changing for the better. I’m having a baby, after all! I just try to have faith and trust that things will work out if I try. And that’s what 2018 will be about for me - trying my very best every single day.

-Sarah

My Life: Then and Now

Modelling is not a normal job. I don’t think you could really even call it a job. As a model I was wild and free and caught in the cycle of loving/hating the fashion industry. I had no commitments other than to be beautiful and to show up to jobs and countries. I made pretty great money, travelled all over the world, stayed in (mostly) nice places, got to (or was made to) socialize with the VIPs in the cities I was visiting. I was around beauty in every way. It’s like most high school movies where the geeky girl gets accepted into the cool crowd and then feels like a million bucks, then while enjoying the natural high of being a “someone" gets swept up into it and begins to change her outlook on life. I started seeing the world in a different way. I started thinking I could actually become someone. It was doable.

But looking back, I realize I was living a bit of a lie. When you get greedy and only start thinking of the money, it clouds your judgement. My life seemed so grand but in a way it all felt so superficial. Eventually reality hits. Currently I’m working at a job that pays very little money, where I wear a horrible uniform and get dirty everyday driving and cleaning trucks. It has great benefits but that’s about it. It’s so different from the glamorous life I had before. Now when I’m cleaning up shit (literally, sometimes), it feels like I really could only go up from here. I’m at such a low point career-wise. It is in no way to do with my career aspirations and is not even close to anything I’m interested in. But sometimes you got to do what you got to do. Maybe that’s growing up.

I’m six-and-a-half months pregnant. That might not sound like too far along, but believe me - it’s a lot of work growing a child inside you! My new (and hopefully forever) life partner and I have started a committed relationship. I have never really been in one before this - or even wanted to be, if I’m being completely honest. He truly is everything I have been looking for. You really do need to kiss a lot of toads before getting your Prince. I thank God everyday for him and my new family. I’m also doing an online course for financial accounting (which I completely should not have done at this moment in time since I already have too much stuff going on). My exam is tomorrow and I hope to God I pass. That’s not to mention that I am working on finishing this book and keeping up with this blog.

My life now is a total 360. I’ve transformed from this immature, wild, young female into a committed mom-to-be. We just moved into a new place to prepare for our new child. It feels like I have been unpacking for weeks. I have been organizing a baby shower as well. It has been a lot of work, but my mom and best girlfriend have been helping as well. All in all it’s been tough. I never have time to just chill at home. It’s such a huge change from my old life where I could relax when I needed and was able to sleep in at least twice a week. That never happens anymore. Do I wish sometimes I could just get up and leave it all behind? Yes. I miss the way that back then I was able to just pick up and leave the moment I didn’t like my situation. But then I think there’s no way I want to leave this family I’m starting to create. This - this - is what I have so desperately wanted my whole life. In a way this is what I was searching for during all those years of globetrotting. For my whole life, I have been praying for a family and then success. In that order.

Now I have faith. That’s the only advice I can give to anyone else out there - just have faith and work your ass off. Don’t stop till you get there - wherever your “there” is - and then enjoy the hell out it!


-Sarah

So What Is SWTMW Anyway?

Some people who click onto this blog might be confused about what exactly Sleeping With The Material World is. Especially if you don’t know us and you’re simply clicking over from the Facebook or Twitter page, you may not be familiar with the story of the book or what we’re trying to do with it. I mean, it’s pretty clear from the introduction up top that it is a book, but since there’s no widget on the website offering you a copy for sale or linking to it on Amazon, some might find themselves asking how they could obtain said book. And it’s an understandable question.

To be clear: Sleeping With the Material World is an unpublished book. Technically speaking, the final draft is not even completed yet. This page exists to raise awareness about our book project in anticipation of selling it to a publisher. Because as Sarah found out the hard way when she submitted her first draft to several publishers, turning your raw manuscript into a published masterpiece that can be found on Indigo’s shelves is actually pretty damn hard.

I know in the past while exploring the internet I’ve come across certain author webpages that refer to a book that doesn’t appear to actually exist, and it’s frustrating. You feel like if the book was published and all you had to do was click on a link, you would be more than willing to support the artist. But how are you supposed to go about supporting an unpublished author?

Sarah has been working on this book for multiple years and in its first iteration it was mostly just a jumble of stories. Since I came in, I’ve radically restructured the narrative. We now see SWTMW as a creative non-fiction "bildingroman," which is a fancy word for a coming-of-age story. It’s a story about growing up, and while the characters may be zany and all over the place, it’s really about a girl who travelled the world to find herself. SWTMW is laid out into 15 chapters, with each chapter taking place in a different city than the previous one. Many locations pop up multiple times, but some don’t – this is just a tour of Sarah’s world in her years in the modelling industry.

As such, on some level it’s a combination of a travel book and a modelling book, which is a little bit unique. There are a few first-person modelling narratives out there – notably Model: A Memoir by Cheryl Diamond, which I read and quite enjoyed, although I didn’t find that it had much of a narrative resolution – but few have really explored the experience of being a model, being flown in and out of different countries and immersing yourself in a new culture for a few months before being plopped down somewhere else. Our whole book is an adventure, as new opportunities pop up and disappear before Sarah’s eyes.

Sarah brought me in because I went to school for creative writing and I have a much better understanding of the process of writing an engaging, readable book with a story arc, but that doesn’t mean I have an in to the industry itself. The key right now is finding a baseline for our pitch that will make what we think can be an excellent book into something that is worth investing in for a significant publisher. So in a way, our goal right now is to brand the book as something that is worth reading. Part of that is demonstrating what’s enticing about this particular story, part of it is showing that we have the ability to write for a large audience, and part of it is finding that audience ahead of time.

Because of the way the industry is today, with the rise of the internet and Kindle and the focus on bestsellers and literary fiction, it’s very important for us to find our audience before we even sell the book itself. When I came into this process over a year ago, as I mentioned, I had the know-how, but I didn’t have much in the way of actual credentials aside from a few isolated articles. Since then, I’ve had my first short fiction piece accepted for publication in a literary journal (scheduled for March of next year) and landed regular gigs writing for TheRichest.com and RaptorsRapture.com. That’s a start, but it’s certainly not going to wow any publishers. Neither of us are going to get in the door because of our resumes alone, so in order to get this book finished and produced, we need to find out who is going to read it. This blog is a part of that process.

In addition, we’d love to explore any other networking opportunities that the internet has to offer – be it guest posts, podcasts, or the like. Most of all, we would love for you to subscribe to this blog (there's a big box on the right-hand side!), and then give our Twitter and our Facebook a follow. And then, maybe even more importantly, share it with all of your closest friends! This might seem like shameless advertising, and to be honest, it totally is.

But we hope you want to see this book get made as much as we do.

-Simon

Beijing Memories

I love this photo.

This was taken less than a week after I ran out on my last international agency in China. In this shot we’re on the elevator on the way to the club to go party with the 2008 Olympians. I was chilling with the Jackass boys and two BMX riders after we had all finished up the Gumball 3000. The “Masters of Dirt” hat I’m wearing is the logo for one of the BMX companies.

It had all started the previous Saturday night, when my friend Min in Shanghai invited a bunch of the girls up to a huge party in a fancy hotel. Min told me it was a party for the Gumball but I had no idea what that even meant. He assured me that the party would be packed with celebrities and that they needed some hotties there. So I asked my 5 roommates (all beautiful models) if they wanted to come. Of course they came – I always knew where the fab parties were. When we got there, there was free booze and free food everywhere. The girls and I stayed all night, then went back to the penthouse and partied till the next morning. One of the hot guys I had met asked me if I wanted to stay with them and travel to Beijing. I told him yes. Then I called the agency and told them I was cutting my contract. I was sick of my agency and the scene in China and just needed a change, but more than anything I was just down to have a good time. Thinking back now, it just reminds me how wild and fun I used to be. It’s not that I can’t have fun now, but I’m more grown up. In my teens and twenties I did whatever I wanted, and got paid. Life was easygoing and carefree.

So I joined the Gumball. The Gumball is enormous car rally that takes place somewhere in the world every year. Thousands of cars and drivers drive thousands of miles just to have a good time and enjoy their toys. It attracts the wealthy, the famous, and anyone who is crazy about cars. The cars in the main rally itself are absolutely gorgeous. In 2008, the Gumball was lined up with the Olympics, winding up in Beijing just in time for the Games. I had really only hitched onto the last leg of the trip.

Fast-forward to this picture. The hottie who had convinced me to run out had already left Beijing, since he was a writer for GQ and had other things to do now that the Gumball had reached its destination. One of the Jackass cameraman, a guy named Teatree, invited me and Miles, the main BMX rider I was hooked up with, to come into town to eat something with him and some British girl. It was probably one of my favourite nights in Asia. We went on an Asian Gondola and rode around a river. We went and smoked sheesha at some side street make shift “restaurant”. Then we ended up in this club somewhere where all the Olympians were hanging out. It was probably best that I had no idea who anyone was because then I wasn’t going crazy about meeting any of them. I had no idea who they were. We partied all night.

Later, Miles, the British girl, Teatree and I were all drinking and Miles put his head down and went to sleep. The British girl was basically gone, her eyes looking all different ways, and me and Teatree were left to chat. He was living in LA but was from New York. He was Jewish and Russian, loved his family, and came across as so funny and sexy but not in your typical way. We stayed there chatting and drinking for a few hours with our dates ‘under the table.’ Teatree was a skateboarder who started his career off as a cameraman for skateboard videos. He moved on to shooting for ‘Jackass.’ He was charming but so not my usual type and a little older then me. We hit it off, and after this meeting we dated on and off, though it never went anywhere. Twice I told him how I felt and twice he turned me down. He only truly wanted me around when he was lonely. From time to time he would fly me out to wherever he was and we would end up stuck to each other’s hip, as they say. Then I would go home, and we would go back to being just friends again.

This photo was the beginning of the end of the fun times. My agency was super pissed at me, and had contacted my mother agency to tell them that I’d disappeared and was on drugs (neither of which were true, though I had left with zero notice). My mother agency was calling my mom to make sure I was okay, and now every other day I was on the phone with my mother reassuring her I was fine and just with friends. By that time the modelling agency in Shanghai had taken all my belongings and brought them to the office under lock and key, including my passport and lap top. They threatened that they would keep everything and not let me leave China. But I was too busy having the time of my life with these millionaires to care.

A few days later, the parties dried up and people started to leave Beijing and I had to go back and clean up the mess I’d created. The train home from Beijing to Shanghai was one of the worst experiences of my life. There were four small beds in each cubby. This train was infested with mold and I’m deathly allergic to it. The train ride is only about five hours long but I thought I was going to die. My throat started to close up, my eyes were foggy and my ears were completely plugged. So much phlegm was coming out of my nose and mouth. I would choke on it at times and have to cough it up and spit it out in a tissue. When I got to the point where I thought I couldn’t take any more my stop was next. I ran off the train and my symptoms instantly disappeared. I was so relieved.

Now: the agency. I knew it was going to be bad. The agency had my laptop, my suitcase of clothing, and my passport all locked up in a massive vault. I still have no idea why they had a bank-sized vault in the agency. They refused to give me any of it back until I reimbursed them for the flight monies they said I owed them for flying me out to China in the first place. I told them I did not want to stay there anymore. I wanted out. But I didn’t have the money.

I sat in the waiting area for while. Finally the owner of the agency arrived and told me to come into their boardroom. He yelled at me for about an hour. He told me I was twenty-three years old and I was acting like a child. He had never had any model do such a thing. Then he told me that I was worth nothing because I was female. I was crying but told him that I was going home this week. He said no, I wasn’t going anywhere until we figured out about what I owed him.

That day I ended up leaving without any of my belongings, only getting them back much later with help from my mother agency and an assurance that I would never work in China again. Even though this was basically the end of my modelling career, I don't regret my decisions at all. It was such an amazing experience and I still talk to some of the people I met on my Gumball trip.

-Sarah

6 Major Mistakes I Made As A Model

Back in our very first post we outlined some tips for surviving in the modelling industry. In this post I’ll discuss some of the mistakes I made as a young model that could have been avoided if I’d followed some of those tips:

1) I never kept track of my jobs and agency expenses.

After my contract was done in South Korea I came home with way less money than I should have. The agency ended up charging me for a bunch of extras, including the rent on my apartment after they had told the group of us to move into a bigger and more expensive place. When I went there, they had a set amount (flat rate) that they paid out for the type of jobs that they were offering and they pocketed the rest. At the time I didn’t want to be a pain but in retrospect I should have asked to see the receipts and demanded fair payment. If I’d been smart, I would have insisted on altering the contract to state that I would be paid the full amount that the client paid the agency, minus the 20% agency fee and minor expenses. Instead, I let the people who had the most to gain from ripping me off control my finances.

In general, I should have tracked all my jobs so when payment came up I knew exactly what I was owed. I should have budgeted expenses before even stepping foot in the city I was working in, just to know how much I needed to leave available for emergencies. I trusted my mother agency to have my back and while they were my rock, on the road it’s important to be your own accountant and always watch every dollar that comes in and goes out. Models are in a difficult spot - forced to put so much trust in other people in such an untrustworthy industry.

2) I partied too much, and didn’t focus enough on the jobs, castings or career in general.

Sometimes while I was getting my makeup done for a job and I had to shut my eyelids while they put on eye shadow, I would literally fall asleep in the chair. The makeup artists were very nice about it and never made it seem like a problem - they were probably used to it - but I shouldn’t have been doing that. I should have enjoyed being there and not rushed everything. I should have had more respect and appreciation for the job and the career.

Vlog Intros

Hey readers, we posted a couple of introductory vlogs so you can get to know our faces as well as our words.

10 Tips On Surviving As An International Model

Keep track of your money. You need to be your own accountant if you don't want to hire one. The industry is rife with sharks and if you don't know what you're getting paid or who you owe money to, the money you think you're making can disappear in an instant.

Always make sure you have a mother agency you can trust. Some of the international agencies will try to take advantage of you as a young person and it's important to check with your mother agency if you suspect that something is off.

Don't get sucked into unhealthy diets or routines. The first thing a lot of people think about when they hear the word "model" is "anorexia." Don't fall down that wormhole. Eating healthy is important, but not eating is very bad for you. If you overdo it, your body will react in ways you don't expect - you might stop having your period, for example. Watch your weight, but do what's right for you.

Don't drink and do drugs alone in foreign countries. Doing drugs in general is a bad idea but the dangers are magnified if you don't know where you are or where to go if things go wrong. Other models may be rivals, but they're also your safety net against what may be out there lurking in cities you're unfamiliar with.

Sleep well at least sometimes. All but the most committed models are going to pull the odd all-nighter, but too many drugs and too many parties will burn you out eventually. Remember that as important as socialising is in the industry, taking care of yourself should come first.

Always shower before going out to a job. It's easy to get caught up in the 24-hour club life and rush from jobs to parties to more jobs without a moment to sleep or shower, but it will eventually catch up to you. No one wants to work on a model who smells like the alleyway behind the bar. It's rude - but worse, it's unprofessional.

Learn how to exercise at home. Pull-ups, push-ups, jogs around the block - you don't need a gym membership to stay in shape. 

Don't take things personally. It's a business, and people aren't getting paid to tell you what you want to hear. Just because you don't get along with the handlers on one shoot, or because you don't have the right look for something, doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you.

Only do things you're comfortable with. For my very first test shoot at age 14 I was asked to do a no-bra look. When I balked, the photographer assured me that if I wasn't sure about it, we could do the shoot with the bra on. In the end I chose to do what was right for the shot, but only once I was comfortable with it. This industry is all about subjecting your body to what other people want, but if it they are ever asking you to do things beyond your comfort level, you should always maintain your right to walk away. If you sign up for underwear and arrive to a photographer asking for nudes, that's not cool. There may be consequences (an unhappy agency, a complaint from the client) but remember that your well-being comes before the job.

Be true to yourself. If you're naturally a size 7 and you're trying to fit into a size 0, you're not being yourself. You can transform yourselves for as many looks as you want, but always stay true to the human being you were when you came into the industry.

Just a few tips from my years in the industry!

-Sarah