About two years ago I quit modelling for good. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do next, but I knew that I wasn't getting what I had used to get out of the whole experience and I needed the change. At the time I was working as a supervisor in a restaurant and I didn't have a backup plan - I just figured I'd do that for a while and see where it led me.
When I first quit there was a sense of relief. I got some tattoos I'd always wanted (while I was in the industry tattoos were strongly discouraged) and bleached my hair. Suddenly I could work out whenever I wanted to. Suddenly the pressure was gone. I didn't need to worry about how I looked. I was happy and proud that I'd gotten out on my own terms rather than waiting for that dreaded sit-down.
The first few months were glorious but it wasn't long before reality kicked in. I had never been smart with my modelling money and after my last paycheck came and went I suddenly realized that no one had taught me anything about managing money. I didn't know how to get by on restaurant wages alone.
"Wait," I said. "The fuck am I supposed to do with my life?"
I thought back to my days in Asia, the rich boys who had courted me. Maybe I should have married a millionaire when I had the chance. But deep down I knew that wasn't really what I wanted - that was a cop out. Several years before, one of those old boyfriends had told me that I shouldn’t ever quit working as a model because as soon as I did I would start to look old. (At the time, of course, I got nervous and offended and started thinking I was already looking old.)
So what was the next step? Acting? I had been acting on and off for the last six years of my modelling career, but not much had come of it - I had to acknowledge that maybe I wasn't all that good at it.
At one point, I had the thought that maybe I should just go and live in a temple and be Zen for the rest of my life.
As per usual I ended up meeting someone in this time who was, for lack of a better word, a complete asshole, and thought maybe I should settle down. NOPE. I ended up quitting my supervisor job and ending it with the bf after we moved in together. Suddenly I was out of a job, out of savings, and basically homeless.
"What the fuck do I do now?"
At that point I decided I wanted to go back to school. But what would I take? I had always wanted to be a therapist and I was already a healer spirituality so maybe that was the route. By the time I applied to school I was on welfare. But school didn't work out either - there were issues with my OSAP and I wasn't able to commit to the year (which would have been this current school year).
Since school fell through I've landed a full-time job and found a place to live. I don't have it all figured out yet, but I'm getting there. But my advice to anyone who plans to quit the industry without a backup plan is this - make sure you're prepared for the real world first!
-Sarah
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