I’ve been wondering about my role as a female in the modern world. As a woman, I always feel the need to make people see me as just as strong as men. I'm small, but I'm much stronger than I look. My brother always makes jokes about how I’m “muscles Magee,” because I will always pick something up and carry it even if it looks huge for my small stature. My mother is the same way, and these days I have to tell her not to pick up heavy stuff, that she’s getting too old to do that kind of thing. Society expects men to be strong physically and they are told that they shouldn’t cry or show emotions. I don’t agree with that, but on some level I have always tried to emulate that. So I don’t really cry and I hate when women lose their cool and get all emotional. But why do I react like this? I know I shouldn't feel that way. Some people are more emotional than others, and it has nothing to do with gender. Besides, women’s emotions, compassion and intuition are some of the strengths that make us great.
I grew up playing with the guys because they were always doing fun things while the girls would walk around, play with dolls, talk about people and follow around the boys. I didn’t want to follow around anyone. I have always tried to be independent. After I hit puberty and realized I liked guys more than girls, I began moulding myself to be more attractive to the other sex. I thought that was what I was supposed to do - be more appealing to the other sex because they were “stronger.” But when I ask myself how I came up with that strategy, I realize that I wasn’t born thinking that way. I was taught. My father, who definitely believes that men are stronger than women, is a fervent believer that a women needs to be walked home by a man to be safe. He is a lovely man but those are his beliefs, and when I think about it I realize it’s not really his fault - it’s just how he was raised. My mother, on the other hand, was a mess while I was growing up. She was so emotional and a lot of it was because of all the things she had been through as a female. I saw this dichotomy close up and made a choice that I would not be a feminine moody “girly girl.” And although now I embrace and am open to every aspect of myself, including the girly aspect, I understand why I pushed against that. I’ve noticed that if I “pretty” myself up most people, even women (most of the time), are nicer to me, whereas if I’m just in sweats with no makeup people pay no attention to me and aren't as willing to help or be nice. Don’t get me wrong - I know I am privileged. I’m white, born in Canada and visually symmetrical. So it’s easy to play the pretty card. But what I want to know is why we’ve been raised in this way. Is it something that women are taught or is it something ingrained?
I did some research into the subject. The United Nations latest Human Development Report showed women are 8% less well off than men overall. This is a blanket figure which covers subjects like education achievement, life expectancy, and income. While that overall difference actually isn’t quite as bad as I thought it was, there are places throughout the world where gross sexism is still rampant. In South Asia, for example, there is a 17% gap between the sexes. In all, out of 148 countries, only 16 don’t follow the general trend. Those sixteen give me some hope. The report stated that generally when countries do well women do well. In countries that the UN calls the “high human development group,” there is only a 3% gender gap. But then in countries that are deemed “low human development” there is a 17% gap. Afghanistan scores the worst at 60% while Sweden and Iceland consistently rate at the top. High-income countries in Northern Europe typically score highest for gender equality. So, generally speaking, Western women are doing better than non-Western women, which isn't a huge surprise.
But then I looked into the subject historically. I know I can’t really comment on how things were way back when, but I figured someone had studied it. I read an article called “Early men and women were equal” where an anthropologist named Mark Dyble and his coauthors say the latest findings suggest that equality between the sexes may have been a survival advantage and played an important role in shaping human society and evolution. The authors argue that sexual equality may have proved an evolutionary advantage for early human societies, as it would have fostered wider-ranging social networks and closer cooperation between unrelated individuals. “It gives you a far more expansive social network with a wider choice of mates, so inbreeding would be less of an issue,” says Dyble. “And you come into contact with more people and you can share innovations, which is something that humans do par excellence.”
So if in the past women were just as powerful as men…then why are we held back today? Is it because we are by nature more peaceful than men? More in tune with ourselves? More graceful? Because some men are bigger than women physically? Maybe because we like to nest? All those statements have a ring of truth to them, but they’re all generalisations. There are exceptions to every one of them. Men can be all those things as well. Now there are men who become women and women who become men. So what does gender matter? The LGBTQ community believes that we are all equal no matter what we are attracted to or whether we identify as female, male or both. That to me in wonderful! If you ask any transgender person, they will tell you that equality is important to them. But I still feel like I’m made to feel less than adequate compared to males. And I have always hated that. Where did we go wrong as a sex? It feels like since the beginning of time women have been bogged down. Why do we let it happen?
At this point I refuse to imprisoned by stereotypes and statements that women and men should be this way or that way. I believe we should all enjoy our lives and have equal rights. We should be allowed to enjoy this life that was given to us and know that it’s enough. Every individual brings something lovely and necessary to the table, and I wish as a species we could learn to embrace those differences. I will always fight to have equal rights and stand up for the people who need a voice because I believe that one day we will realize that truth.
-Sarah
I grew up playing with the guys because they were always doing fun things while the girls would walk around, play with dolls, talk about people and follow around the boys. I didn’t want to follow around anyone. I have always tried to be independent. After I hit puberty and realized I liked guys more than girls, I began moulding myself to be more attractive to the other sex. I thought that was what I was supposed to do - be more appealing to the other sex because they were “stronger.” But when I ask myself how I came up with that strategy, I realize that I wasn’t born thinking that way. I was taught. My father, who definitely believes that men are stronger than women, is a fervent believer that a women needs to be walked home by a man to be safe. He is a lovely man but those are his beliefs, and when I think about it I realize it’s not really his fault - it’s just how he was raised. My mother, on the other hand, was a mess while I was growing up. She was so emotional and a lot of it was because of all the things she had been through as a female. I saw this dichotomy close up and made a choice that I would not be a feminine moody “girly girl.” And although now I embrace and am open to every aspect of myself, including the girly aspect, I understand why I pushed against that. I’ve noticed that if I “pretty” myself up most people, even women (most of the time), are nicer to me, whereas if I’m just in sweats with no makeup people pay no attention to me and aren't as willing to help or be nice. Don’t get me wrong - I know I am privileged. I’m white, born in Canada and visually symmetrical. So it’s easy to play the pretty card. But what I want to know is why we’ve been raised in this way. Is it something that women are taught or is it something ingrained?
I did some research into the subject. The United Nations latest Human Development Report showed women are 8% less well off than men overall. This is a blanket figure which covers subjects like education achievement, life expectancy, and income. While that overall difference actually isn’t quite as bad as I thought it was, there are places throughout the world where gross sexism is still rampant. In South Asia, for example, there is a 17% gap between the sexes. In all, out of 148 countries, only 16 don’t follow the general trend. Those sixteen give me some hope. The report stated that generally when countries do well women do well. In countries that the UN calls the “high human development group,” there is only a 3% gender gap. But then in countries that are deemed “low human development” there is a 17% gap. Afghanistan scores the worst at 60% while Sweden and Iceland consistently rate at the top. High-income countries in Northern Europe typically score highest for gender equality. So, generally speaking, Western women are doing better than non-Western women, which isn't a huge surprise.
But then I looked into the subject historically. I know I can’t really comment on how things were way back when, but I figured someone had studied it. I read an article called “Early men and women were equal” where an anthropologist named Mark Dyble and his coauthors say the latest findings suggest that equality between the sexes may have been a survival advantage and played an important role in shaping human society and evolution. The authors argue that sexual equality may have proved an evolutionary advantage for early human societies, as it would have fostered wider-ranging social networks and closer cooperation between unrelated individuals. “It gives you a far more expansive social network with a wider choice of mates, so inbreeding would be less of an issue,” says Dyble. “And you come into contact with more people and you can share innovations, which is something that humans do par excellence.”
So if in the past women were just as powerful as men…then why are we held back today? Is it because we are by nature more peaceful than men? More in tune with ourselves? More graceful? Because some men are bigger than women physically? Maybe because we like to nest? All those statements have a ring of truth to them, but they’re all generalisations. There are exceptions to every one of them. Men can be all those things as well. Now there are men who become women and women who become men. So what does gender matter? The LGBTQ community believes that we are all equal no matter what we are attracted to or whether we identify as female, male or both. That to me in wonderful! If you ask any transgender person, they will tell you that equality is important to them. But I still feel like I’m made to feel less than adequate compared to males. And I have always hated that. Where did we go wrong as a sex? It feels like since the beginning of time women have been bogged down. Why do we let it happen?
At this point I refuse to imprisoned by stereotypes and statements that women and men should be this way or that way. I believe we should all enjoy our lives and have equal rights. We should be allowed to enjoy this life that was given to us and know that it’s enough. Every individual brings something lovely and necessary to the table, and I wish as a species we could learn to embrace those differences. I will always fight to have equal rights and stand up for the people who need a voice because I believe that one day we will realize that truth.
-Sarah
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